Bereavement counselling

Facing and dealing with grief

Grief is an experience that everyone will have to deal with at some point in time, it is obviously a difficult emotional experience that can have possible future complications if not dealt with emotionally. We are all unique beings, and as such we will cope with bereavement in our own unique way and in our own time, but not everyone can take the necessary time, and they may not have the support needed to be able to deal with the emotional pain at the time. Maybe there are children to look after, or you had financial problems that forced you back to work too soon, perhaps you feel family or friends have pressured you to hide your sorrow from others, or there is a complicated back story or history involved making it confusing and complicating it emotionally. Grief counselling or bereavement therapy offers people the chance to find a safe, confidential place to talk about their feelings and thoughts where they will not be judged, where they can openly talk about their emotions without having to consider or worry about anyone else’s feelings. In some cases, it feels impossible to confide in the people they know and trust, for instance, they may have been having an extramarital affair with the person who died, or are embarrassed about showing their hurt and pain for a family pet or film star, there are many other reasons people feel unable to grieve openly. With this online bereavement counselling service, there is a safe space to talk about difficult subjects in confidence, free of judgement; you can also remain hidden from view to make it more comfortable when trying to deal with delicate issues.

Grieving for someone

Dealing with death, and experiencing bereavement is never easy, the sorrow we feel losing the people who are closest to us is usually a very upsetting and life-changing experience. How they die will also be a significant factor in how we deal with someone’s death, or even if we are able to process it and move on with life. It may be easier to understand and accept someone’s death if they die from old age, or a terminal illness, as it is often seen as a natural part of life. It can be much harder to come to terms with a loved one’s death if they have died in an accident, or if someone’s medical incompetence or neglect has killed them. Dealing with the added complexity from experiencing a traumatic event is not only life- altering but emotionally much more difficult to process if the person's death was from hostile and violent action, or suicide, there will be a host of added emotional hurt and pain when dealing with the intense feeling of loss. When experiencing the actual event, by surviving an accident when someone else had died, or seeing a violent death of someone you know or love, can lead to people experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and any number of emotional complications, now and in the future.

Coping with the death of your

life partner

Losing your partner is both emotionally devastating and practically challenging at the same time, not only do you have to cope with the traumatic feelings that can at times overwhelm you. However, you may also have to deal with comforting very distressed children while also arranging the funeral and tackling any financial problems. This is where family and friends can support you and give practical help, or unfortunately when communicating their grief complicate it and create problems. This life-changing event will take time for you to adjust to and come to terms with, how you do that will be very different from anyone else, the time it will take you to adapt and accept the profound personal loss will depend on you, there is no time limit, it will take the time that it needs. When we lose a partner, it can mean that we see ourselves facing a new identity, if you were once married you are now single, where you once had someone to support you and love you, you now have to cope on your own. That change in personal circumstance can be tough to deal with, but most people do eventually find a way to get passed it and feel okay, sometimes with the help of therapy.

Time Heals

Time is said to be a healer, as time passes painful memories and emotions can subside and go on to provide inner wisdom and understanding, as well as comfort, and for many people that is true, but just by itself, the passing of time is not always able to provide the expected benefit. In some cases, as time moves on the person remains stuck in time, and they can experience an increasing amount of emotional problems, like rising levels of anxiety and depression, this is what’s often called complicated grief and therapy can help them work through the emotional distress blocking the grieving process and eventually finding peace.

Experiencing loss in your life

Feelings similar to grief can be experienced when we have to cope with a sense of loss, although it is not the same as dealing with a bereavement, you can still feel very distressed when dealing with the end of a relationship, or losing a job, or become upset when losing personal items through robbery or theft. Anything that is personally important to you and has an emotional connection can still be very emotionally upsetting and stressful to deal with, especially if the object has significance concerning a past bereavement, this can compound the emotions involved and even restart the grieving process or lead to feeling depressed or anxious.

Reminding you that you are

mortal

The fear of dying is both natural and usually seen as a healthy attitude, but some people have a real difficulty when dealing with any aspect of death. It is the rule of life that we will all die at some point, and death is not evil, or malicious and cruel, some even welcome it as a deliverance from pain, it is just a natural progression of life. Death allows the natural world to advance adapt and survive, the survival of the fittest implies that all living things can adapt to changes in their environment over time and pass on their advantages from one generation to the next. It is essential to the progression of species including ours. Modern life can offer us many advantages over death, with science powering the advances in medicine what was once seen as a terminal illness, is now either curable or at least there is more hope for recovery than there was fifty years ago. However, I think modern medicine has also changed the way people see death. When you overhear people state that it is not right for a child to die before the parent, that is untrue, in nature, the mortality rate of juveniles is very high. In my opinion, it is a reflection of societies inability to deal with the reality of life, and animals usually have many offspring because there is a good possibility that most will never make it to adulthood. In Victorian times the child mortality was very high compared to today, in the past, people often had large families to compensate. It is only in modern times that child death rates have been drastically reduced. The inaccurate perception that it is somehow wrong for children to die young can make dealing with the reality of a child's death more difficult to process. Why is this important and what has it do with grief counselling? It can be helpful, to remind ourselves of the reality of death, and not to push away the thoughts and uncomfortable feelings. Facing the possibility of our own mortality can have benefits, if you think of it, that’s why people make wills and take out life insurance, if you can’t do that because it is uncomfortable to think about it, you may need to have a rethink.