All rights reserved © A Yates 2011
Bereavement
Facing and dealing with grief
Grief
is
an
experience
that
everyone
will
have
to
deal
with
at
some
point
in
time,
it
is
obviously
a
difficult
emotional
experience
that
can
have
possible
future complications if not dealt with emotionally.
We
are
all
unique
beings,
and
as
such
we
will
cope
with
bereavement
in
our
own
unique
way
and
in
our
own
time,
but
not
everyone
can
take
the
necessary
time,
and
they
may
not
have
the
support
needed
to
be
able
to
deal with the emotional pain at the time.
Maybe
there
are
children
to
look
after,
or
you
had
financial
problems
that
forced
you
back
to
work
too
soon,
perhaps
you
feel
family
or
friends
have
pressured
you
to
hide
your
sorrow
from
others,
or
there
is
a
complicated
back
story
or
history
involved
making
it
confusing
and
complicating
it
emotionally.
Grief
counselling
or
bereavement
therapy
offers
people
the
chance
to
find
a
safe,
confidential
place
to
talk
about
their
feelings
and
thoughts
where
they
will
not
be
judged,
where
they
can
openly
talk
about
their
emotions
without
having to consider or worry about anyone else’s feelings.
In
some
cases,
it
feels
impossible
to
confide
in
the
people
they
know
and
trust,
for
instance,
they
may
have
been
having
an
extramarital
affair
with
the
person
who
died,
or
are
embarrassed
about
showing
their
hurt
and
pain
for
a
family
pet
or
film
star,
there
are
many
other
reasons
people
feel
unable to grieve openly.
With
this
online
bereavement
counselling
service,
there
is
a
safe
space
to
talk
about
difficult
subjects
in
confidence,
free
of
judgement;
you
can
also
remain
hidden
from
view
to
make
it
more
comfortable
when
trying
to
deal
with delicate issues.
Grieving for someone
Dealing
with
death,
and
experiencing
bereavement
is
never
easy,
the
sorrow
we
feel
losing
the
people
who
are
closest
to
us
is
usually
a
very
upsetting
and
life-
changing
experience.
How
they
die
will
also
be
a
significant
factor
in
how
we
deal
with
someone’s
death,
or even if we are able to process it and move on with life.
It
may
be
easier
to
understand
and
accept
someone’s
death
if
they
die
from
old
age,
or
a
terminal
illness,
as
it
is
often
seen
as
a
natural
part
of
life.
It
can
be
much
harder
to
come
to
terms
with
a
loved
one’s
death
if
they
have
died
in
an
accident,
or
if
someone’s
medical
incompetence
or
neglect
has
killed them.
Dealing
with
the
added
complexity
from
experiencing
a
traumatic
event
is
not
only
life-altering
but
emotionally
much
more
difficult
to
process
if
the
person's
death
was
from
hostile
and
violent
action,
or
suicide,
there
will
be
a
host
of
added
emotional
hurt
and
pain
when
dealing
with
the
intense
feeling of loss.
When
experiencing
the
actual
event,
by
surviving
an
accident
when
someone
else
had
died,
or
seeing
a
violent
death
of
someone
you
know
or
love,
can
lead
to
people
experiencing
symptoms
of
post-traumatic
stress
disorder,
depression
and
any
number
of
emotional
complications,
now
and
in the future.
Children
need
special
care
at
time
like
this,
they
can
feel
confused
and
lost
trying
to
deal
with
all
the
emotional
trauma,
and
often
need
extra
comfort
care
and
understanding,
the
impact
on
the
child
of
losing
a
mother
or
father
is
usually
emotionally
devastating,
and
it
can
be
very
difficult
to
accommodate children needs when parents are also grieving.
Coping with the death of your life partner
Losing
your
partner
is
both
emotionally
devastating
and
practically
challenging
at
the
same
time,
not
only
do
you
have
to
cope
with
the
traumatic
feelings
that
can
at
times
overwhelm
you.
However,
you
may
also
have
to
deal
with
comforting
very
distressed
children
while
also
arranging
the
funeral
and
tackling
any
financial
problems.
This
is
where
family
and
friends
can
support
you
and
give
practical
help,
or
unfortunately
when
communicating
their
grief
complicate
it and create problems.
This
life-changing
event
will
take
time
for
you
to
adjust
to
and
come
to
terms
with,
how
you
do
that
will
be
very
different
from
anyone
else,
the
time
it
will
take
you
to
adapt
and
accept
the
profound
personal
loss
will
depend on you, there is no time limit, it will take the time that it needs.
When
we
lose
a
partner,
it
can
mean
that
we
see
ourselves
facing
a
new
identity,
if
you
were
once
married
you
are
now
single,
where
you
once
had
someone
to
support
you
and
love
you,
you
now
have
to
cope
on
your
own.
That
change
in
personal
circumstance
can
be
tough
to
deal
with,
but
most
people
do
eventually
find
a
way
to
get
passed
it
and
feel
okay,
sometimes
with the help of therapy.
Time Heals
Time
is
said
to
be
a
healer,
as
time
passes
painful
memories
and
emotions
can
subside
and
go
on
to
provide
inner
wisdom
and
understanding,
as
well
as
comfort,
and
for
many
people
that
is
true,
but
just
by
itself,
the
passing
of
time
is
not
always
able
to
provide
the
expected
benefit.
In
some
cases,
as
time
moves
on
the
person
remains
stuck
in
time,
and
they
can
experience
an
increasing
number
of
emotional
problems,
like
rising
levels
of
anxiety
and
depression,
this
is
what’s
often
called
complicated
grief
and
therapy
can
help
them
work
through
the
emotional
distress
blocking
the
grieving
process and eventually finding peace.
Experiencing loss in your life
Feelings
similar
to
grief
can
be
experienced
when
we
have
to
cope
with
a
sense
of
loss,
although
it
is
not
the
same
as
dealing
with
a
bereavement,
you
can
still
feel
very
distressed
when
dealing
with
the
end
of
a
relationship,
or
losing
a
job,
or
become
upset
when
losing
personal
items
through
robbery
or
theft.
Anything
that
is
personally
important
to
you
and
has
an
emotional
connection
can
still
be
very
emotionally
upsetting
and
stressful
to
deal
with,
especially
if
the
object
has
significance
concerning
a
past
bereavement,
this
can
compound
the
emotions
involved
and
even
restart
the grieving process or lead to feeling depressed or anxious.
Reminding you that you are mortal
The
fear
of
dying
is
both
natural
and
usually
seen
as
a
healthy
attitude,
but
some people have a real difficulty when dealing with any aspect of death.
It
is
the
rule
of
life
that
we
will
all
die
at
some
point,
and
death
is
not
evil,
or
malicious
and
cruel,
some
even
welcome
it
as
a
deliverance
from
pain,
it
is
just
a
natural
progression
of
life.
Death
allows
the
natural
world
to
advance
adapt
and
survive,
the
survival
of
the
fittest
implies
that
all
living
things
can
adapt
to
changes
in
their
environment
over
time
and
pass
on
their
advantages
from
one
generation
to
the
next.
It
is
essential
to
the
progression of species including ours.
Modern
life
can
offer
us
many
advantages
over
death,
with
science
powering
the
advances
in
medicine
what
was
once
seen
as
a
terminal
illness,
is
now
either
curable
or
at
least
there
is
more
hope
for
recovery
than
there
was
fifty
years
ago.
However,
I
think
modern
medicine
has
also
changed the way people see death.
When
you
overhear
people
state
that
it
is
not
right
for
a
child
to
die
before
the
parent,
that
is
untrue,
in
nature,
the
mortality
rate
of
juveniles
is
very
high.
In
my
opinion,
it
is
a
reflection
of
societies
inability
to
deal
with
the
reality
of
life,
and
animals
usually
have
many
offspring
because
there
is
a
good possibility that most will never make it to adulthood.
In
Victorian
times
the
child
mortality
was
very
high
compared
to
today,
in
the
past,
people
often
had
large
families
to
compensate.
It
is
only
in
modern
times
that
child
death
rates
have
been
drastically
reduced.
The
inaccurate
perception
that
it
is
somehow
wrong
for
children
to
die
young,
can
make
dealing
with
the
reality
of
a
child's
death
more
difficult
to
process.
Why
is
this
important
and
what
has
it
do
with
grief
counselling?
It
can
be
helpful,
to
remind
ourselves
of
the
reality
of
death,
and
not
to
push
away
the
thoughts
and
uncomfortable
feelings.
Facing
the
possibility
of
our
own
mortality
can
have
benefits,
if
you
think
of
it,
that’s
why
people
make
wills
and
take-out
life
insurance,
if
you
can’t
do
that
because
it
is
uncomfortable
to think about it, you may need to have a rethink.