Another new year’s resolution? two common reason why it can fail.

Just a quick thought on new years eve resolutions and how online therapy can help support you to do what you need or want to achieve in the new year.

New Year’s Eve is almost upon us, and this time of year has diverse meanings for people, some see it as a positive new start or opportunity and look at the new year with hope, others live in fear of the future and can see no reason to celebrate, some see it as a time for remembering and reflecting on people who have passed for life and have contemplative thoughts on the events of years gone by, or just acknowledging the passing of time and its importance to them.

What ever it means to you there is no doubt that people often use this time of year to try and make personal changes, anything from giving up smoking and drinking to making promises to get more exercise and finally starting that diet, some people do manage to do what they set out to achieve, but I think its fair to say that the majority don’t succeed, after a few weeks some slip up or give up, why is that when they set a date and feel motivated? There are a couple of common reasons why people fail to succeed.

1/ A lack of preparation.

If you’re not one of the fortunate people who just wake up on new years day and just decide at that moment in time to just stop doing what is not good for them and succeed in doing it, whether its stopping smoking/drinking or being more assertive, then you need an approach that gives you the best chance of making it a successful new year’s resolution and that mainly requires motivation and preparation.

Sometimes you may know what you really want to change, and you want it so badly that you get a knee jerk reaction to do it right then on new years eve, perhaps it is powered by intense feelings of guilt or shame that manifests into an emotional desperation that leads to an ill prepared attempt that turns out eventually to be unsuccessful.

Sometimes making changes in life can be a major task that needs both preparation and support for it to have the best chance of it being successful, just telling people what your going to do loudly is not always a very effective method of motivation, it can just lead to feelings of being seen as a failure later on and that may make it even harder to restart the changes you want to make in the future.

I talk to lots of people who want to make life changes and I find that everyone is unique, people have to take account of differing strength’s and life complications that need to be taken in to account to help them plan and prepare to help them succeed in what they want to do.

2/ Not being truthful with yourself.

This is a complex but important aspect of making personal changes, if you want make a change in life you need to understand why you want to make it, is this what you actually want, or are you only doing what you think others want you to do?

If you are only motivated by society or peer pressure there can be problems with feelings of inner resentment or even anger at having to do something you do not really want to do, not a good motivator for successful change, but still possible to do eventually depending on the overriding reasons.
For instance, if your place of employment introduces a strict non-smoking policy or starts requiring regular alcohol and drug testing for the work force you may feel you have no choice but to make changes or otherwise lose your job, if your doctor warns you that continuing with your life style is killing you, once again you may have to make life changes you do not really want  for your personal benefit.

There is a big difference between wanting to make changes, having to make changes and only making changes to please others.

You could argue that you can make changes at any time in the year not just new years eve., so why not start the preparation in the new year, find some clarity, focus and support with some online therapy, then when your ready, go for it on your terms.

Do you want to increase the possibility of success with therapy? If not maybe you need to ask yourself why is that?

This online therapy service has been helping people to make life changes for several years, why wait, give it a try on your terms with no obligation.


Dreading Christmas, not coping with Christmass.

Dreading Christmas?

Not everyone likes this time of the festive year, what for some is an enjoyable close family occasion can be a time of misery and obligation for others with family arguments and resentments to look forward to.

I just put up a new web page offering a fresh look at dealing with this time of year if you want to make some changes, not the usual tips but a strategy for next year if change is not possible for this year, after all this yearly holiday is almost here and making changes to your life can take planning and time.

If your not coping with Christmass and are constantly dreading Christmas, is it the same every year?Or it is getting harder as every year passes by, why not try making changes?

Help to cope with Christmas


Not forgetting that the New year is soon upon us, a time for change for some and failed attempts for others.

Why not give yourself the best chance possible of succeeding to make the new years changes you want by planning ahead, not just a last minute reaction to feeling guilty, if it is a last minute gut reaction or idea it probably has not been thought through probably to give you a good starting point.

Maybe it’s a new year resolution to give up smoking or to start dieting, drinking less, doing more exercise to keep fit and even being more assertive, yes it can be about making personal changes like saying no more  to others, what ever it is look for ways to find support and build up a plan of action and ask for professional support if needed, My online therapy service has often been used to help people make new year changes.

Do you need some professional support to help you, why not try some online therapy, just a few session may make all the difference between success and more failed attempts.


What spoils your Christmas holiday?

What new years resolutions are you going to try?