Ending or saving a relationship

divorcing or separation?

Just like people employ lawyers to help protect their rights when their relationship breaks down, people also employ me to help them find clarity and focus when going through a relationship crisis. My job with a divorce situation is to help my client protect themselves from making overly emotional decisions instead of more reasonable ones, to build independence, challenge helplessness and negativity.

Whatever the client is trying to do, ending the old or protecting the present relationship I will do my best to support what the client is trying to do. Also, if needed, provide online relationship counselling or mediation to find a way to rebuild or repair the relationship if possible, and it can be worthwhile trying. All this can be achieved with online therapy using video sessions, or just using sound only to talk while staying out of sight.

help with divorce or separation

Therapy can help you find much-needed support when facing a divorce or separation, and it can even speed up the emotional healing process. At Times before you can start to move on emotionally and renew your life, you need to sort through the unanswered queries and lingering thoughts. These thoughts can hang around and generate undeserved doubt and insecurity lowering your self-esteem. Therapy can help to challenge change and dismiss them.

Unresolved relationship issues

Unresolved or leftover issues with your relationship can eventually hold you back from making progress and finding happiness in your new life. Many people find that therapy at this time can be of valuable assistance, it can be emotionally supportive and helpful in finding some clarity. Especially when trying to protect yourself and your rights under the law. People often find it useful to speak to someone impartial to get a fresh look at the situation.

Relationships just like people need to adapt to life.

As people face and deal with life the experience changes them, as human beings, we all adapt to life in our own way, that adaptation can help you grow and become wiser and develop a new understanding that can help you cope in the future. Unfortunately, the experiences from life can also badly hurt people. People who are emotionally damaged without therapy may not become wiser, but turn bitter and resentful, untrusting, and adversarial.

People change & relationships change

When people change emotionally and spiritually for better or worse, what they once wanted or needed can change, a partner who once provided what they desired, no longer can, emotional issues like jealousy can destroy what was once a good marriage. Why your marriage/relationship is in trouble or has ended, will have an impact on how you feel psychologically, the explanations behind the relationship or marriage breakdown can be complicated, bewildering, and not always possible to understand in the immediate aftermath.
Why did it end?

The way it ended will also be a key component to consider, the causes can be complicated and everyone’s emotional responses while coping will vary from person to person. The emotional and practical adjustments needed can be difficult to make and sometimes relationship therapy can help reduce the confusion and help understand and isolate the issues

When your relationship ends

When relationships end, it is not just the end of the partnership but the end of the life you once knew and understood. Emotionally there can be overwhelming feelings of everything from anger guilt resentment self-doubt to helplessness and depression. when the relationship begins to break down the world you once knew will change, into a new time of relentless change and uncertainty, further muddled by painful emotions and heart-breaking sentiments.

Ending the relationship

Choosing to end a relationship is a predicament many are facing; the explanations why can be varied and complicated. From someone wanting to leave an abusive marriage or relationship, to the impact of drug alcohol or gambling or the betrayal from an affair. Sometimes people fall out of love and what to move on with someone else, or just strike out on their own.

The repercussions for everybody implicated in the relationship, both practical, financial, and emotional, can be far-reaching and complex, the immediate future may look frightening and perplexing. However, people do often end relationships successfully, some also manage to start experiencing a better life, either with someone new or even just enjoying being single.

A new life a new relationship

Living with an abusive partner can have a toxic and detrimental impact on the persons self-esteem and confidence, the longer the abusive relationship continues, the more helpless the person feels making it more difficult to break free. Starting to regain your life by ending the relationship in this circumstance is a way of restoring control and restarting your life, but it can also be challenging to keep up the progress if your self-esteem has been severely damaged.

Never ending promises

Abusive partners promising to change their behaviours, continually begging for another chance or just continuing to try and intimidate, can make it exceedingly difficult to keep the resolve and endure.

Finding support from family and friends is particularly important, and can be extremely helpful, a therapist can help address the feelings of helplessness and embarrassment or shame and support the person trying to regain their independence.

Dealing with guilt

For someone who has ended a relationship or started divorce proceedings, the feelings of guilt can be troubling to address, especially if the ending is full of anger and pain, being made to feel guilty by an ex-partners family or friends should be understood in its context. Talking about this in therapy can help bring everything into focus and help you know that your needs and reasons are still valid.

Finding an endpoint

The loss of a relationship is not always the endpoint, with children involved it often means that partners still have contact with each other, and this can be exceedingly difficult and prolong the healing process.

People still grieving the loss of a relationship, can find it difficult to deal with when the ex-partner starts a new relationship, or they are making a new life, without them, this hurts on many levels often leading to complicated emotions that can further complicate healing and moving on.

Facing change when a partner leaves you.

If you are trying to cope with your partner leaving you, there will often be a significant difference, between the emotional consequences for the partner who is ending the relationship, compared to the partner who is trying to cope with the situation and deal with the impending loss.

The partner who is ending the relationship has an advantage, they have an element of control, by starting the divorce or separation, they are in monitoring and guiding their new destiny, while the other partner can be feeling helpless and can only try to cope with the sometimes-devastating hurt and pain.

Facing hurt and pain

If you are experiencing the trauma of a divorce forced on you by your partner, try not to make any rash decisions until you have had time to get your head around it. Allow yourself to cry shout and scream and feel the pain; you are not weak to do so, it is an essential part of the healing process, if you think about it, you are only respecting how you feel by expressing it.

Do not try and do this alone. Talk to your friends and family let them help you, at times like this it is important to find any support you can, and as soon as you feel able, get some legal advice. A good thing to understand is that no matter how painful it feels, eventually the hurt emotions will lessen and pass with time.

Time to grieve

Some say experiencing divorce or separation with someone you love is worse than dealing with someone’s death. When a partner dies, there is a natural endpoint, a time to say goodbye, a point in time where healing starts, but when a relationship ends there is no endpoint where healing can begin, instead it becomes a time that restructures the link into a new dynamic.

With children involved it often means that partners still have contact with each other, this can be exceedingly difficult to manage and complicate the healing process. People still grieving the loss of a relationship, can find it difficult to come to terms when the ex-partner starts a new relationship, or they seem to be making a new life, without them, this hurts on many levels, often leading to complex emotions that can further complicate healing and moving on, but time does heal eventually.

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