How to choose a therapist?
Looking for a therapist?
Before making a choice, you need some information to
base that choice on.
Please remember that this is only my opinion based on
my experience.
What type of therapy you use will be your personal
choice, not a guarantee of being better or worse than
any other, just what you personally want to use, or try
out, no one type of therapy works for everyone and you
may need to try a few others before you find one that
works for you, or find one you feel comfortable using.
it is the same with therapists, there are a lot of different
types, with different theory’s and ideas, some have been
tried and tested over time and some are new ideas still
being tried out, some are new, enthusiastic and full of
ideas and hope, some are jaded and burnt out or just
don’t care any more.
How to chose a therapist.
There are some possible limitations that can restrict
your ability to pick the therapist you want.
Not able to pay for therapy
You can’t afford to pay for therapy yourself, you have to
either use an insurance company, who will restrict the
choices for you, or you can only use free services from
a charity, that charity may only have one choice, or a
very limited choice available to you.
Limited ability to pay
Your finances are limited and you can only afford the
therapists who are within your price range, again
limiting your choices.
Restricted to your local area
You have a limited number to choose from within your
locality and you cannot use online therapy services, or
telephone counselling.
The right attitude
Unfortunately, not everyone has the total freedom to
chose any therapist they like, and you could argue that
private fee-paying clients have the best options open to
them, but within the limitations of your budget, it is still
possible to make a good choice, not just any choice.
Having the right approach will help you get what you
want, the first thing to remember is that you are the one
in charge, you have the right to hire and fire at will, you
have the power.
Remember who is in charge, you pay the fees, you make
the choice, you can hire and fire when you wish, you
have no obligation to stay with that particular therapist,
any recommendations from family or friends are not to
be trusted, it’s only a personal opinion, not a promise or
guarantee that it will be the same for you, you may find
the experience very different with the same therapist.
Therapists should be thought of as being just like
hairdressers, if you have your haircut and like the
hairdresser and the service they provide, you will go
again, why would you go and have your haircut by
someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, or who
you have no confidence in.
Qualifications & testimonials
The more qualification’s a therapist has, is no indication
they are any better than any other, because there is
much more to becoming a therapist than just the
qualifications. If a therapist insists that being a member
of this organisation or that one, means you can trust
them, or it guarantees you have a good therapist,
remember this, they just lied to you, and they know it.
Never pay any attention to any testimonials a therapist
shows you, or any they use as advertising on a website
or anywhere else, it could be totally untrue, if they give
out emails for you to check the authenticity of the
testimonials, that will then have breached an ex-client’s
confidentiality, and secondly using clients to validate
the therapist is seen as unethical by most therapists
and therapy organisations.
Beware of promises, such as I can help you, or I will
change your life, or even outrageous statements like I
can cure your depression, as it’s all empty promises or
bluff and bluster, to make you part with your money,
because that’s all their interested in.
In my opinion you should never pay up front before
therapy starts, and always ask for a free consultation
first, you need that, to find out if you like the therapist, if
they won’t do that why not? Are they afraid or worried,
the relationship between you and your therapist, is
probably the most important part to any successful
therapy outcome, and you need some time to talk to
them first, before you can make a considered choice.
No guarantee
Therapy organisations should never be seen as a
guarantee or validation of any particular therapist it is
only an organisation that promotes their members over
and above other organisations, you will always be the
best judge of the therapist based on the experience you
have had, no organisation should never be seen as a
guarantee of your personal safety, always be aware and
take responsibility for your own safety first.
If the therapist says or does anything that makes you
suspicious, just find a new one, you have no need to say
why. If Doctors can steel kill and generally do bad
things to patents in their care it can be said that the
regulatory body they belonged to was no guarantee of
good behaviour, and neither should you.
It matters not if people are police doctor’s firemen
therapists or lawyers, because they are just people, the
same as you me and everyone else, they may be good
and bad, or were once good and are now bad, people do
occasionally change for the worst overtime.
What to look for in a therapist?
There is no simple answer but remembering a few
suggestions may be helpful to you.
Number one
Remember that qualifications are not a very helpful
indicator, a therapist who is a Dr in psychology is not
necessarily going to be better than a therapist with just
a diploma in counselling, because books and theory are
just guides, they don’t tell therapists how to cure
depression or anxiety, if they did then then you could
buy your own books, then cure your own problems.
Being a good therapist has more to do with personal
ability when using a combination of empathy life
experience qualifications and knowledge, not just book
reading or qualifications.
Number two
Steer clear of any therapist that makes big claims or
makes big promises to cure issues like depression or
anxiety, it’s probably all about marketing and money
and luring in desperate people, if it’s too good to be true
it probably is not true. Marketing tactics such as using
clients to provide testimonials about their therapy
service shows a total disregard for their client’s
confidentiality and in my opinion shows very
questionable professional ethics.
Would you like someone emailing you and asking about
your personal therapy experience or asking for proof of
who you are to validate a testimonial, allowing them to
verify that you are not just a fictitious person?
Providing a confidential service means that it is
confidential and even the fact that you have had
therapy is also confidential, any testimonial has to be
shown to be true and in some countries the name and
address of the person providing the testimonial has to
be made available to people, or advertising regulatory
authorities, to be able to check its validity.
Number three
If possible talk to the therapist before making any
payments, a free consultation will help you find out
what you think about the therapist, it will give you the
chance to ask questions and get an idea how you feel
about them as your prospective therapist, if you can’t
find a therapist that you like who provides a free
session then you may have to pay to find out if you’re a
good fit together.
Number four
A therapist’s specialisations or expertise in any
particular problem area or issue only shows that that
they are focused on a particular subject or area of
interest, for instance if a therapist specialises in eating
disorders, does it mean they can’t work with anger
issues? No, because therapists need to work with the
person as a whole not just one problem.
Everything we are as a person, is complex and
interlinked, anger love happiness fear anxiety
depression, are all part of the bigger picture, they all
exist in the same place and each part influences the
other, quite often an emotional issue like anger or
anxiety is nothing more than a symptom or emotional
expression of a deeper problem.
A therapist has to be flexible and adaptable and work
with a wide range of problems, because we are all
complex unique individuals and not just a single
symptom. So, if you have anger issues don’t just look
for therapists who specialise in anger, by doing so you
may overly restrict your choices.
Number five
If it feels wrong, or you feel uncomfortable with the
therapist, even if they seem to be a good choice on
paper, change the therapist immediately.
Number six
Today online therapy services provide you with more
opportunities to find counselling and psychotherapy
online, you don’t have to use the therapist closest to
you any more.
Number seven
listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts, if you
feel unsettled in the therapist’s company, or you feel
there is something wrong find a new one, remember
you are the one in charge. Remember, if you have your
hair cut and you like the cut or find the service helpful,
you will go back, if you don’t like the service you just
find a new one, it’s the same with a therapist, you just
move on until you find one that works for you, not every
therapist will be a good match for all clients, just like
you will not agree with or like everyone you encounter in
your life.
Good luck in your future search and I hope you find
what you need in a therapist and in life.
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