How to choose a therapist?

Looking for a therapist? Before making a choice, you need some information to base that choice on. Please remember that this is only my opinion based on my experience. What type of therapy you use will be your personal choice, not a guarantee of being better or worse than any other, just what you personally want to use, or try out, no one type of therapy works for everyone and you may need to try a few others before you find one that works for you, or find one you feel comfortable using. it is the same with therapists, there are a lot of different types, with different theory’s and ideas, some have been tried and tested over time and some are new ideas still being tried out, some are new, enthusiastic and full of ideas and hope, some are jaded and burnt out or just don’t care any more.

How to chose a therapist.

There are some possible limitations that can restrict your ability to pick the therapist you want.

Not able to pay for therapy

You can’t afford to pay for therapy yourself, you have to either use an insurance company, who will restrict the choices for you, or you can only use free services from a charity, that charity may only have one choice, or a very limited choice available to you.

Limited ability to pay

Your finances are limited and you can only afford the therapists who are within your price range, again limiting your choices.

Restricted to your local area

You have a limited number to choose from within your locality and you cannot use online therapy services, or telephone counselling. The right attitude Unfortunately, not everyone has the total freedom to chose any therapist they like, and you could argue that private fee-paying clients have the best options open to them, but within the limitations of your budget, it is still possible to make a good choice, not just any choice. Having the right approach will help you get what you want, the first thing to remember is that you are the one in charge, you have the right to hire and fire at will, you have the power. Remember who is in charge, you pay the fees, you make the choice, you can hire and fire when you wish,  you have no obligation to stay with that particular therapist, any recommendations from family or friends are not to be trusted, it’s only a personal opinion, not a promise or guarantee that it will be the same for you, you may find the experience very different with the same therapist. Therapists should be thought of as being just like hairdressers, if you have your haircut and like the hairdresser and the service they provide, you will go again, why would you go and have your haircut by someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, or who you have no confidence in. Qualifications & testimonials The more qualification’s a therapist has, is no indication they are any better than any other, because there is much more to becoming a therapist than just the qualifications. If a therapist insists that being a member of this organisation or that one, means you can trust them, or it guarantees you have a good therapist, remember this, they just lied to you, and they know it. Never pay any attention to any testimonials a therapist shows you, or any they use as advertising on a website or anywhere else, it could be totally untrue, if they give out emails for you to check the authenticity of the testimonials, that will then have breached an ex-client’s confidentiality, and secondly using clients to validate the therapist is seen as unethical by most therapists and therapy organisations. Beware of promises, such as I can help you, or I will change your life, or even outrageous statements like I can cure your depression, as it’s all empty promises or bluff and bluster, to make you part with your money, because that’s all their interested in. In my opinion you should never pay up front before therapy starts, and always ask for a free consultation first, you need that, to find out if you like the therapist, if they won’t do that why not? Are they afraid or worried, the relationship between you and your therapist, is probably the most important part to any successful therapy outcome, and you need some time to talk to them first, before you can make a considered choice.

No guarantee

Therapy organisations should never be seen as a guarantee or validation of any particular therapist it is only an organisation that promotes their members over and above other organisations, you will always be the best judge of the therapist based on the experience you have had, no organisation should never be seen as a guarantee of your personal safety, always be aware and take responsibility for your own safety first. If the therapist says or does anything that makes you suspicious, just find a new one, you have no need to say why. If Doctors can steel kill and generally do bad things to patents in their care it can be said that the regulatory body they belonged to was no guarantee of good behaviour, and neither should you. It matters not if people are police doctor’s firemen therapists or lawyers, because they are just people, the same as you me and everyone else, they may be good and bad, or were once good and are now bad, people do occasionally change for the worst overtime. What to look for in a therapist? There is no simple answer but remembering a few suggestions may be helpful to you.

Number one

Remember that qualifications are not a very helpful indicator, a therapist who is a Dr in psychology is not necessarily going to be better than a therapist with just a diploma in counselling, because books and theory are just guides, they don’t tell therapists how to cure depression or anxiety, if they did then then you could buy your own books, then cure your own problems. Being a good therapist has more to do with personal ability when using a combination of empathy life experience qualifications and knowledge, not just book reading or qualifications.

Number two

Steer clear of any therapist that makes big claims or makes big promises to cure issues like depression or anxiety, it’s probably all about marketing and money and luring in desperate people, if it’s too good to be true it probably is not true. Marketing tactics such as using clients to provide testimonials about their therapy service shows a total disregard for their client’s confidentiality and in my opinion shows very questionable professional ethics. Would you like someone emailing you and asking about your personal therapy experience or asking for proof of who you are to validate a testimonial, allowing them to verify that you are not just a fictitious person? Providing a confidential service means that it is confidential and even the fact that you have had therapy is also confidential, any testimonial has to be shown to be true and in some countries the name and address of the person providing the testimonial has to be made available to people, or advertising regulatory authorities, to be able to check its validity.

Number three

If possible talk to the therapist before making any payments, a free consultation will help you find out what you think about the therapist, it will give you the chance to ask questions and get an idea how you feel about them as your prospective therapist, if you can’t find a therapist that you like who provides a free session then you may have to pay to find out if you’re a good fit together.

Number four

A therapist’s specialisations or expertise in any particular problem area or issue only shows that that they are focused on a particular subject or area of interest, for instance if a therapist specialises in eating disorders, does it mean they can’t work with anger issues? No, because therapists need to work with the person as a whole not just one problem. Everything we are as a person, is complex and interlinked, anger love happiness fear anxiety depression, are all part of the bigger picture, they all exist in the same place and each part influences the other, quite often an emotional issue like anger or anxiety is nothing more than a symptom or emotional expression of a deeper problem. A therapist has to be flexible and adaptable and work with a wide range of problems, because we are all complex unique individuals and not just a single symptom. So, if you have anger issues don’t just look for therapists who specialise in anger, by doing so you may overly restrict your choices.

Number five

If it feels wrong, or you feel uncomfortable with the therapist, even if they seem to be a good choice on paper, change the therapist immediately.

Number six

Today online therapy services provide you with more opportunities to find counselling and psychotherapy online, you don’t have to use the therapist closest to you any more.

Number seven

listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts, if you feel unsettled in the therapist’s company, or you feel there is something wrong find a new one, remember you are the one in charge. Remember, if you have your hair cut and you like the cut or find the service helpful, you will go back, if you don’t like the service you just find a new one, it’s the same with a therapist, you just move on until you find one that works for you, not every therapist will be a good match for all clients, just like you will not agree with or like everyone you encounter in your life. Good luck in your future search and I hope you find what you need in a therapist and in life.