All rights reserved © A Yates 2011
Support with relationships
Problems with relationships
Relationship
problems
are
often
challenging
to
deal
with
because
of
the
simple
fact
that
relationships
are
a
complex
interactive
dynamic
where
two
people
are
trying
to
live
in
harmony
but
have
different
ideas
of
what
unity
is.
It
does
not
matter
if
you
are
gay
straight
or
bisexual,
a
relationship
is
about
people not just about sex or sexuality.
Hidden
agendas
and
issues
around
control,
problems
of
trust
and
commitment
can
complicate
any
marriage
or
relationship,
sexual
issues
can
leave
one
partner
feeling
embarrassed
and
isolated,
and
this
can
leave
the
other
person
feeling
unloved
or
rejected.
By
talking
to
a
therapist
on
your
own
or
with
a
partner,
you
can
explore
the
thoughts
and
feelings
centred
on
your
ability
to
communicate
your
emotional
needs
effectively
to
others.
Living
with
an
abusive
partner
can
have
a
toxic
and
detrimental
impact
on
the
persons
self-esteem
and
confidence,
the
longer
the
abusive
relationship
continues,
the
more
helpless
the
person
feels
making
it
more
difficult
to
break free.
Starting
to
regain
your
life
by
ending
the
relationship
in
this
circumstance
is
a
way
of
restoring
control
and
restarting
your
life,
but
it
can
also
be
challenging
to
keep
up
the
progress
if
your
self-esteem
has
been
severely
damaged.
Abusive
partners
promising
to
change
their
behaviours,
continually
begging
for
another
chance
or
just
continuing
to
try
and
intimidate,
can
make it very difficult to keep the resolve and endure.
Finding
support
from
family
and
friends
is
very
important,
and
can
be
very
helpful,
a
therapist
can
also
help
address
the
feelings
of
helplessness
and
embarrassment or shame, and support the person trying to regain their life.
Wondering what to do? Thinking about her him or you?
If
you
are
thinking
of
starting
marriage
guidance
or
seeking
independent
relationship
assistance,
an
important
thought
to
remember
is
that
you
do
not
need
to
bring
a
partner
into
therapy,
when
seeking
help
with
your
marriage
or
relationship,
you
can
have
therapy
sessions for relationship problems on your own.
People
do
find
this
way
of
actioning
relationship
issues
very
helpful,
especially
when
it's
about
should
I
end
the
relationship
or
try
saving
it,
for
some,
it
is
about
questioning
the
actions
of
their
partner
within
the
relationship,
is
it
abusive
or
controlling,
is
a
common
question
people seek to ask
Are you trying to find clarity?
•
Work through confusion and uncertainty
•
Learn to work past divorce or separation
•
Work
on
self-esteem
issues
and
insecurity
issues
to
improve the quality of your relationship
•
Find
new
ways
to
get
what
you
need
emotionally
that
may also improve the physical side of your life
•
Working
with
emotional
points
such
as
anger,
trust,
anxiety
translated
into
defectiveness,
insecurities,
and
learn
how
to
understand
and
use
emotions
constructively,
and
become
more
independent.
•
Trying
to
understand
where
your
anger
and
frustration
comes
from,
and what it means for your relationship.
Can online counselling help me with my relationships?
With
relationship
counselling
over
the
Internet,
you
can
explore
the
complexity
of
your
internal
needs
and
external
experiences
to
allow
a
clearer
picture
of
who
you
are
and
what
you
need
from
a
relationship.
It
can
help
you
find
a
new
clearer
understanding
of
how
to
help
yourself
or
even
find
a
new
way
forward;
there
may
be
quite
a
difference
between
what
you think you want and what you need from a relationship.
As
social
beings
we
need
the
company
or
social
interaction
with
others
to
fulfil
our
needs,
both
emotionally
and
physically,
we
need
the
support
network
that
friendships
and
family
provide
us
with,
to
help
in
times
of
emotional
turmoil
and
need.
Some
of
the
most
important
relationships
are
the
ones
that
we
experience
in
our
childhood,
the
emotional
support
that
is
given
or
withheld
can
shape
the
way
we
attach
to
others
in
the
future,
our
childhood
experiences
can
set
the
building
blocks
for
our
future
relationships.
Dysfunctional thinking
When
children
feel
loved
and
wanted
within
a
family
and
social
network,
that
also
provides
them
with
a
safe,
supportive
environment
to
explore
the
world
around
them,
and
to
grow
emotionally,
in
time,
they
will
help
support
others
as
they
develop
into
adults.
However,
some
children
never
experience
a
normal
emotionally
supportive
family
environment.
Unfortunately,
some
children
will
become
emotionally
damaged
by
physical
sexual
and
psychological
abuse.
The
abused
children
can
lose
their
ability
to
develop
emotional
maturity
and
can
struggle
to
cope
with
life
on
many
levels,
and
this
can
lead
to
a
distorted
view
of
their
role
within
any
relationship,
and
lead
to
dysfunctional
thinking
and
behaviours
that
in
turn
will produce problems within the relationship.
Dysfunctional
thinking
and
behaviours
will
have
repercussions
in
later
life,
from
subconsciously
(not
knowingly)
looking
for
and
finding
abusive
relationships
in
the
future
or
pushing
people
away
to
limit
the
likelihood
of
it
happening
again.
Seemingly
simple
behaviours
can
destroy
a
relationship
from
within,
feelings
of
insecurity
or
low
self-esteem
can
lead
to
a
person
feeling
the
need
to
test
the
partnership
continually
until
damaged
beyond
repair.