Discover the Signs of a Bad Therapist

You have the power to hire and fire

Finding a good therapist is essential for effective mental health treatment. However, recognizing the signs of a bad therapist is equally important to ensure a positive and productive therapeutic experience. Below, I explore the key indicators of a bad therapist, what makes for a bad fit between therapist and client, how to leave a bad therapist, and the characteristics of a good therapist.

Signs of a Bad Therapist

Unethical Behavior

Engaging in Romantic or Sexual Relationships: One of the most harmful and unethical behaviors a therapist can engage in is initiating or reciprocating a romantic or sexual relationship with a client. This grossly exploits the inherent power imbalance in the therapeutic relationship, undermining the client’s trust and safety. Such actions are not only unethical but also expressly forbidden by professional codes of conduct. Under no circumstances should a therapist touch or speak to you in a sexually suggestive manner. If you find yourself in such a situation, it’s crucial to report the therapist and seek support immediately.
Breach of Confidentiality: Confidentiality is the cornerstone of a trusting therapeutic relationship. Your therapist is bound to protect your private information unless there are specific exceptions, such as if you pose a danger to yourself or others, or in cases of suspected child or elder abuse. If your therapist discloses your personal information without consent, such as discussing your sessions with others or revealing your identity in public, they are violating a fundamental ethical boundary. This breach of trust can cause significant harm and should be reported to the appropriate licensing board.
Inappropriate Self-Disclosure: While some level of self-disclosure by a therapist can help build rapport and provide context, excessive or irrelevant self-disclosure is inappropriate. A therapist who frequently talks about their personal life, problems, or opinions instead of focusing on your issues is overstepping professional boundaries. Therapy should center on you and your healing process, not the therapist’s personal experiences.
Lack of Respect for Your Time: Your time and investment in therapy deserve respect. If your therapist consistently starts sessions late, ends them early, or cancels frequently without valid reasons, it indicates a lack of professionalism. While occasional emergencies are understandable, repeated disruptions can undermine the effectiveness of your therapy and suggest a lack of commitment to your well-being.
Poor Boundaries: A good therapist maintains clear boundaries to protect the therapeutic relationship. Poor boundaries can manifest in various ways, such as calling you at inappropriate times, making personal visits, or becoming overly involved in your personal life. These actions blur the lines between professional and personal relationships and can lead to an unhealthy dynamic.
Testimonials: Be wary of testimonials as they breach ethical guidelines or can be fabricated. Presenting testimonials on a website is unprofessional and violates client-therapist confidentiality.

Professional Competence Issues

Failure to Provide Informed Consent: Informed consent is a fundamental aspect of ethical therapy practice. Your therapist should explain the nature of the treatments they propose, any potential risks, and your right to decline or withdraw consent at any time. If your therapist offers interventions without your explicit consent, they are disregarding your autonomy and rights as a client.
Use of Harmful or Ineffective Methods: Therapists should rely on evidence-based practices and avoid methods that are known to be harmful or ineffective. For example, conversion therapy for LGBTQ+ individuals is widely discredited and harmful. Any therapist who uses such outdated or unethical practices is compromising your safety and well-being.
Therapists should never put pressure on you to discuss aspects of your life or experiences you’re not ready to face. This includes pressuring you to reveal things you’re uncomfortable discussing or urging you to take certain actions in your life, such as ending a relationship. While therapists often encourage you to pursue your goals, even if they seem daunting—for instance, suggesting you confront your fears or discuss significant issues with your partner—they should never coerce you, especially after you’ve expressed unreadiness.

Personal Attitudes and Behaviors

Holding Discriminatory Views: Therapists should uphold the value of every individual regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, or other identities. If a therapist expresses or endorses discriminatory views, it is a clear sign that they are not fit to provide a supportive and inclusive therapeutic environment.
Minimizing Your Struggles: A good therapist validates your feelings and experiences. If your therapist dismisses, belittles, or makes light of your struggles, they are not providing the empathy and support you need. Your experiences and feelings are significant, and a therapist should help you navigate them, not minimize them.
Making False Promises: Effective therapy is a process that involves managing symptoms and improving mental health over time. Therapists who promise quick fixes or guaranteed cures are likely offering false hope. Therapy should focus on realistic goals and progress, not on unattainable promises.
Minimizing your struggles is not a sign of a good therapist. A therapist should make you feel heard, understood, and valued. Those who judge, belittle, or diminish your experiences are not suitable therapists. Be cautious of therapists who compare your struggles to others, saying things like, “At least you haven’t gone through…” or “Just be grateful that you…”

Unprofessional Conduct

Distractions During Sessions: Your therapy sessions should be focused solely on you. A therapist who is frequently distracted by phone calls, checking the clock, or other interruptions is not providing the attention and care you deserve. You are paying for their time and expertise, and their full engagement is crucial for your progress.
Imposing Religious Beliefs: Therapy should be a safe space where your beliefs are respected. A therapist should not impose their religious or spiritual beliefs on you unless you have specifically sought faith-based therapy. Any attempt to push personal beliefs onto you without your consent is unprofessional and disrespectful.
Pressuring You: Therapy should progress at your pace. A therapist who pressures you to discuss certain topics, take specific actions, or make decisions before you are ready is not respecting your boundaries. Encouragement is important, but it should never cross into coercion.

Other Red Flags

Eating or snaking food: If a therapist eats food or snacks during a therapy session, it can be seen as disrespectful and distracting. Should you experience this, it may be advisable to consider finding a new therapist.
Resistance to Feedback: Open communication is essential in therapy. A good therapist welcomes feedback and is willing to adjust their approach based on your needs and concerns. If your therapist becomes defensive or dismissive when you provide feedback, it indicates a lack of professionalism and flexibility.
Power Struggles: The therapeutic relationship should be collaborative. If you find yourself in frequent power struggles with your therapist, where sessions feel like arguments rather than constructive discussions, it may be a sign that the therapist is not effectively managing the therapeutic dynamic.
Disrespecting Your Expertise: You are the expert on your own life and experiences. A good therapist respects your insights and works collaboratively with you to develop treatment plans. If your therapist dismisses your knowledge or perspectives, it can undermine the therapeutic process.
Constantly Cancels.: Constantly canceling and rearranging therapy sessions may indicate that the therapist is either disorganized or managing a personal crisis and that will impact your therapy.

What Makes for a Bad Fit Between Therapist and Client?

Sometimes, a therapist might not be a bad practitioner but simply not the right fit for you. Signs of a poor fit include:

Mismatch in Therapy Style: If their therapeutic approach does not align with what you’re looking for, it might be time to find someone who better matches your preferences. For example, some clients may prefer cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), while others might benefit more from psychodynamic therapy.
Lack of Shared Identity: You might feel more comfortable with a therapist who shares your gender, racial, or sexual identity. This shared understanding can foster a deeper sense of trust and connection.
Inability to Build Rapport: If you don’t feel comfortable or understood after several sessions, the therapist may not be the right match. Building a strong therapeutic alliance is crucial for effective therapy.
Ignoring your concerns: Appears disinterested in your problems, including trauma, anxiety, or depression.
Personal Dislike: It’s okay to seek another therapist if you simply do not like them, as the therapeutic relationship is crucial for success.
Unclear or Unmet Goals: If your therapy sessions feel aimless or your therapist does not stick to your agreed-upon goals, it might be time to switch. Clear and focused goals are essential for tracking progress and achieving desired outcomes.
Logistical Barriers: Issues like inconvenient scheduling, lack of telehealth options, or insurance problems can also be reasons to find a different therapist. Accessibility and convenience are important for maintaining consistent and effective therapy sessions.

How to Leave a Bad Therapist

Leaving a therapist who is not meeting your needs is a crucial step towards finding the right support. Here’s how to approach it:

Direct Communication: You can choose to end the therapeutic relationship in person, via phone, or through an email or text message. Being clear and respectful in your communication can help you leave the relationship on professional terms.
Explain Your Reasons: If you feel comfortable, provide feedback on why you are leaving. This can help the therapist improve their practice and also provide closure for you.
Seek Immediate Changes: If the issues are fixable, discuss them with your therapist to see if adjustments can be made. Open communication can sometimes resolve problems and improve the therapeutic relationship.
Report Unethical Behavior: If your therapist has engaged in unethical or illegal behavior, report them to the appropriate licensing board. Protecting yourself and others from harmful practices is important for maintaining the integrity of the therapeutic profession.
Just leave and don’t go back: You are under no obligation to continue communication; you have the right to terminate the therapeutic relationship at any time as you see fit.

Signs of a Good Therapist

Identifying a good therapist is crucial for effective therapy. Look for the following traits:

Safety and Non-Judgment: You should feel safe, respected, and free from judgment in sessions. A good therapist creates an environment where you can openly share your thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism.
Full Attention: A good therapist gives you their undivided attention, actively listens to your concerns, and engages fully in the therapeutic process.
Adherence to Ethics: They respect confidentiality, boundaries, and legal obligations, ensuring your privacy and trust are upheld.
Relevant Experience: They have specific experience in treating your condition, utilizing evidence-based practices tailored to your needs.
Validation and Support: They validate your feelings and experiences, providing empathy and understanding throughout the therapeutic journey.
Encouragement Without Pressure: They challenge you to grow and make progress but never pressure you beyond your comfort level.
Productive Sessions: Sessions should feel productive, even if they are challenging. You should leave feeling that you’ve made progress or gained new insights.
Openness to Feedback: Good therapists listen to and act on feedback, continuously improving their approach to better support your needs.
Respect for Identity: They affirm and celebrate all aspects of your identity, creating an inclusive and supportive environment.

How to Find a Good Therapist

Finding a good therapist involves one important step

Unfortunately, you cannot simply trust a therapist without a valid reason. It’s advisable to request a complimentary initial session to gauge compatibility and ask questions until you’re satisfied. If you sense a good fit or they instill confidence in their ability to assist, consider booking another session. Should you experience any discomfort or confusion, seek another therapist. Take your time, as this is a significant choice.

Conclusion: Prioritizing Your Well-Being

Embarking on the quest for the right therapist is a valuable journey for your well-being. It’s perfectly acceptable to seek a new therapist if the current one doesn’t align with your needs. Your mental health and contentment are paramount. Pursue a therapist who offers genuine support and comprehension.
Securing the right therapist can profoundly influence your mental health journey. Follow these guidelines to guarantee the backing you require to flourish. For a personalized selection of therapists and expedited appointments, explore Klarity and begin your journey today.